Oh, sleep...how I miss you...
We've had a rough week or so in our house sleep-wise. Now, I realize that sleep deprivation comes with the territory, and I know that there are families out there who have it much worse than we do. I also know that I'm not the first nor will I be the last mother to struggle with infant sleep issues so I'm not trying to get anyone's sympathy...I just wish I could have ONE. NIGHT. of uninterrupted sleep (is that too much to ask?).
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| My sleepy newborn... |
Tessa started sleeping through the night (and by sleeping through the night, I mean 8-9 hours straight, up for a feed, then back to sleep for another 2-3 hours) at around 11 weeks old. I thought we were set. We were lucky we got a "good sleeper". This sleep pattern only lasted, however, until she was around 4 1/2-5 months old. Then the night waking began. It started after we had been away from home for a long weekend, so I thought she was just a bit off her routine and would get back into it once we were home and back to normal. Nope.
Then I thought it must be the beginning of teething. Well, she's now 8 months old, just cut her first two teeth a few weeks ago, and is still consistently waking at least once, sometimes 3-4 times each night.
Growth spurt? That's a mighty long growth spurt. Plus, I wasn't noticing any changes in her eating habits during the day, so I figured it couldn't be that.
She didn't have a fever, a cold, a diaper rash.
It was a hot summer and her room is upstairs in our un-airconditioned house so we switched from long-sleeved sleepers to a regular sleep sack to a lightweight sleep sack, cracked open a window when needed, and on the really hot nights, had her sleep in just her diaper.
We even resorted to Tylenol a few times when she seemed really upset and wouldn't settle back to sleep after waking in the night.
I'm tired. I'm frustrated. At times I feel completely at a loss as to what to do about this. And as much as I remind myself that I'm not a bad mom and I'm doing the best I can and that this is completely normal, there's still that feeling lurking in the shadows that this is somehow all my fault and that I'm failing my daughter. I have moments of irrational fear: She'll never be able to sleep on her own...I'm not going to get a good night's sleep for at least another 5 years...We're doing some kind of irreversible emotional or psychological damage if we let her cry...We're creating bad habits if we don't let her cry and rush in to rescue her each time...what's a mom to do???
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| Still one of my most favoritest photos ever! |
For now, we're taking it one night at a time. I'm struggling with actually implementing any kind of "sleep training", "cry it out", or "controlled crying" methods that I've read about (but at the same time, I haven't totally dismissed them either - learned that lesson early on!). Deep down, something just doesn't feel right to me about any of them (and aren't we supposed to trust our gut?). I know they work well for many families, and that's great. I respect the decisions that each family makes for themselves, because I know that when it comes to our kids, no decision is taken lightly and a lot of careful thought, research and discussion goes into them.
Over the next days (or weeks) I'm going to be writing more about sleep, and my thoughts on some of the various strategies and methods I've read about, and hopefully, by putting my thoughts into words, I'll be able to sort things out a bit more and come to some kind of resolution. We'll see.
Right now though, this mama needs a coffee.
(I'd be interested to hear how other parents cope with sleep issues...what's worked for you? Leave a comment below!)
