Time for Some Tough Love

A few months ago, I wrote about my journey in coming to accept my post-baby body. I struggled with it for a little while, then when I recognized and reminded myself of what my body had just accomplished through pregnancy, labor, and the birth of my daughter, it became pretty easy for me to be more gentle on myself and to accept my new shape.

That was a good thing - for a while. It was what I needed as I recovered from childbirth, adjusted to life with a newborn, and found my rhythm as a mom. I gave myself a much needed break and lowered my expectations for myself - which is what I think all new moms need to do - at least for a while.

I've found, though, that I've continued to maintain the same lowered expectations for myself in terms of health and wellness, even though I know (and have known for a while) that it's time to start picking up the slack. It's not a bad thing to go easy on yourself for a while, if it's what's needed, but that should only be temporary and not become the new normal. Yes, I needed a short period where I gave myself grace and gentleness, where I allowed myself to focus on other things. But now I can see that it's gotten to the point where I'm maybe being a little too gentle on myself, and have allowed myself to neglect my own health and created (or continued) some not-so-healthy habits. It's one thing to go easy on yourself for a season - it's another thing entirely to use that as an excuse to be lazy and undisciplined and not take care of yourself, which is what it's become for me.

Like I said in my previous post, I was able to quickly get to a place of acceptance and even appreciation for my new post-baby shape and I've managed to return to my pre-pregnancy weight without much effort. But I know that I could be doing much, much better with my eating habits and exercise routine (which is completely non-existent). For me, it's not so much about weight loss or looking a certain way as it is about overall good health and wellness and feeling good about the choices I make.

So, having said all that, (and I know I'm a little late on the New Year's resolution/goal post, but this is something I've been thinking about for a while and have already started working on), my biggest goal for myself this year is to be as healthy as I can be. That means making a conscious effort to make healthy choices with my diet as well as starting (and maintaining) some sort of physical activity routine.

One of the worst areas for me is my love for sweets and my terrible snacking habits, especially when I'm home all day. It's way too easy to reach for something unhealthy and I've let it go for too long. This, along with getting moving, is the first area I'm going to tackle. I've come up with a plan and a list of healthy snack choices that I'll look too when I feel the need to snack. I've decided that I'm going to limit myself to just one snack time a day - a set time where I can have a healthy snack - instead of just randomly, mindlessly grazing on junk through the day. Tessa is at an age where she is watching me closely and noticing what I'm doing - I do NOT want her learning my unhealthy habits and thinking that they can become hers too.

Snack options - this is now hanging on the fridge.

The other area that needs improvement is exercise. We bought a treadmill on a Boxing Day sale and are waiting for it to come, so my plan is to start a regular walking routine and work my way up to some jogging/running. I guess the silver lining for me is that I don't have far to go to improve - any amount of physical activity will be an improvement from where I'm currently at.

I don't want to become obsessive or legalistic about these things, but I know myself and I know that if I don't have some kind of plan and steps to take, nothing will happen. I know there will be days that I'll eat poorly or skip my workout, and that's not the end of the world - it takes work, discipline, and self control to break habits. And, like I said earlier, I'm pretty good at being gentle on myself - I'm now going to save that gentleness for the days I mess up, paired with a healthy dose of strictness to make sure I get right back on track the next day. As long as I can make healthy choices the majority of the time and work my way to having this become the new normal, I'm happy.

Our Funny Girl

     Right from the beginning, Tessa has been such a happy baby. So many people commented on how smiley she was at a very young age (and still is). She hardly ever makes strange and it usually only takes a few seconds for her to warm up and break out into a huge grin with complete strangers.

     This girl makes us so happy. We laugh at something she does almost every day. Now that she's getting older, her funny little personality is starting to show and we think she's going to be quite the goofball.

Silly lopsided grin (and almost wink) for the camera for her one-month photo shoot.

I love how she looks like she's throwing back her head and having a good belly laugh.

I had to throw this one in here - makes me laugh every time.

Who, me??

Relaxing after a big lunch.

I can't wait for the day she discovers I put this photo of her online.

She recently started making this fish face when eating. It's usually followed by some lip smacking. We think it means she's enjoying whatever she's eating. That or she's trying to figure out how to kiss.

This is the face she makes right before she giggles.

Love the big, cheesy, drooly grin.

Such a character!

     Tessa, I don't remember what your dad and I did for entertainment before you came along, but whatever it was, it was nowhere near as fun as watching you grow into the little girl you're becoming. You make us laugh constantly with your crazy faces and silly smiles and our days are never dull with you around. You are definitely our goofy little sunshine and we can't imagine life without you in it. We love you so much - don't ever stop being silly!!

Embracing my Mommy-Shape

     This letter to Kate Middleton was all over my Facebook feed for a couple days last week. It was posted and shared by many of my mom friends who obviously loved it as much as I did. If you haven't seen it yet click the link above and go read it - it's well worth your time.

     It's no secret that women of all sizes and shapes struggle with having a healthy body image. There's always someone who looks better, is thinner, has nicer clothes or hair or whatever. We're constantly comparing ourselves to everyone else and finding that we usually come up short. What's astonishing to me is that this dislike of our bodies continues through pregnancy and beyond. I've had conversations with other new moms about how we need to lose the baby weight and firm up the mommy-tummy. We look at ourselves in the mirror and all we see are stretch marks and saggy, soft bellies.

40 weeks pregnant, 5 days before Tessa arrived

    
     I can remember those first awkward weeks after giving birth where absolutely nothing in my closet fit - my maternity stuff was too big and my non-maternity stuff was too small or just didn't fit my new shape properly. There was no point going shopping for new clothes because I knew my body was in an adjustment period and I had no idea how long it would take for things to stabilize. I complained about how I looked, forgetting that my body had been stretched and reshaped over 9 months to accomodate a new life and had just performed its most amazing and miraculous feat to date. If ever there was a time to give myself a break, this was it.

     So I did. Slowly, I got used to my new shape, and now, for the first time in a VERY long time, I can honestly say that I'm ok with my body (other than those pesky stretch marks!). I don't love it, but I'm happy with it and so thankful for it when I remind myself that it gave us our beautiful, healthy daughter.

      Some of us may get back to our exact pre-pregnancy shape and size, others will not. Either way our bodies will be different in some way and I think it's time to embrace these new bodies. Bodies that have miraculously carried and nurtured life, endured hours (maybe days) of labor, delivered beautiful babies into the world, and are now nourishing, comforting, protecting, teaching, and loving our children. There is nothing more beautiful than that.