Life as a Working Mom

Well, I've officially been a working mom for 6 weeks, and as you can tell by the complete lack of posting on my blog, it's been BUSY! Busy, but good. We've managed to find a new routine and it seems to be working out well. I'm so fortunate and thankful that I'm only working part-time (2 days/week), so I still get to be at home with Tessa the other three weekdays and on weekends. It's really the perfect balance for right now.

The first few weeks were definitely a challenge with trying to figure out how to get all of us out the door by 7:30am, having to leave Tessa at the dayhome crying, and trying to keep up with all the other errands and chores that still need to be done with two fewer days a week to do them.

Our morning routine is working out nicely. I get up first, around 6am, get myself completely ready to go, then get Tessa up just before 7 and get her ready. For the most part it's worked perfectly, except for the odd morning when she wakes up too early and I'm not quite ready yet. It also helps immensely to have everything laid out and ready to go the night before. This is what our hallway and kitchen counter look like the night before a work day:

Tessa had a few rough days at her dayhome in the beginning, including one day when she cried almost all day. It was the day after a rough night, so she was really tired. For her to be tired at home is one thing, but to be tired in a new, unfamiliar environment is a whole different ball game. The mom guilt hit me hard that day. I felt so bad for both her and the caregiver, and felt like I was making a huge mistake by being back at work. Thankfully, that turned out to be an isolated incident, and she's done very well since. She doesn't even cry anymore when I drop her off in the morning, which is bittersweet for me. I'm happy that she's happy there, but sad that she's growing up and becoming more independent.

Tessa got to sponge paint for the first time at the dayhome. First artwork for the fridge!

And as for keeping up around the house, well, it's going ok. I've never claimed to be the world's greatest housekeeper, so it doesn't bother me too much if things get left undone at times (for example, our kitchen & dining room floor is TERRIBLE right now - I should probably be doing that instead of writing this! Haha!). But I do know that I need to make myself some kind of schedule so I make sure the things that MUST get done are getting done. I also need to work on using my time at home as efficiently as possible and prioritizing to keep this place somewhat liveable.

Our living room often looks like a bomb went off

Tessa's room on laundry day (it doesn't stay like this!!)

Yes, life has been a little crazy these past 6 weeks as we've settled into our new normal. Life as a working mom is definitely hard, but I wouldn't say it's any harder or easier than being a full time stay at home mom (although I can't imagine how the full time working mamas do it! Hats off to you!). It's just different. They both have their own unique challenges. I came across this post on Facebook - it's written as two letters - one from a SAHM to a working mom, and vice versa. Having been on both sides, I think it perfectly sums up the challenges that each one faces. There's no need to argue over who has it harder. We're all moms, we just need to support each other at whatever place in life we're at.

YOU are a good Mama!

     A friend recently posted a link on Facebook to an article about a photo project that was done by a group of women in Victoria, BC. The title of the project is "No More Mommy Wars!" and it features photos of moms who, although they have made different parenting decisions, are standing together and supporting one another without judgment.

     I love the message of this project - that instead of judging or criticizing each other for our different approaches to mothering and parenting, we should be standing together and supporting one another as moms. It's a hard enough job without also feeling like we need to be constantly living up to someone else's standards.

     Please, please, PLEASE go read the article (especially if you're a mom) and be inspired by this amazing group of women - and maybe get together with some friends, take your own photos, and declare an end to the silly "mommy wars".

     A few days after reading about this project, I came across another great post. This post challenges us to actually TELL our mom friends that they're doing a great job. How many times have you thought to yourself that someone you know is a great mom, but never actually TOLD her that (I'm guilty!!)? How much does it mean to you when someone lets you know you're doing a good job (in motherhood or elsewhere)? Don't we all thrive on those words of affirmation? When someone takes the time to tell me that I'm a good mom, it means so much and really does go a long way.

     I love this quote from the post I mentioned above:

via

     I recently had an experience that confirmed for me the need for moms to support and encourage one another. We were on vacation this summer, and on one night we chose to have dinner out rather than in our hotel. We were in a crowded restaurant and had each taken about 3 bites of our meals, when Tessa decided that she was done with sitting in that wooden box that passes for a high chair (can't say I blame her!). That, or she just had something to say, and chose to use her loudest, shrillest squeal to get her point across. She screeched over and over - she wasn't upset, just wanted to be heard. We took her out of the chair, took turns holding and bouncing her on our laps, tried a soother and every toy I had in my bag - no dice. She just wanted to squeal. Heads were starting to turn and we got a few evil eyes from other diners. We asked to have our food packed up and while my husband paid the bill, I got Tessa ready to go. Our table was right near the door, and a woman was waiting there with her kids. She took a few steps over to me, put her hand on my arm, gave me a sincere smile and said, "I love how vocal your little one is!" I could have cried right then and there. In that moment, I was feeling defeated by what I thought was my inability to "control" my baby and frustrated that my husband and I were unable to enjoy a nice dinner out. It meant so much to have a fellow mom stand with me and offer encouragement. She didn't have to say anything - she could have just given me one of those sympathetic smiles or even ignored us altogether, but instead she made the effort to come over and say something, and by putting a positive spin on the situation, she was able to lift my mood and make me feel like I was doing something right.

     With that experience in mind, I'm inspired to keep on the lookout for opportunities to encourage and support my fellow moms, even if they're strangers, and even if they do things differently than I do. And I challenge you to do the same. Tell someone today that she's a great mama.