One week from now, I’ll be dropping my baby off at her
dayhome for the first time and heading off to work. Obviously, I have very
mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I think it’ll be nice to get out of
the house (by myself) two days a week, be around adults all day, and get back to using my
skills and training. As much as I love being at home full time with my
daughter, I think having a bit of a break from her (and her from me) might not
be all bad. At the same time, I love being a stay at home mom and will be
sad to leave my daughter with someone else and miss out on all the little
moments I’ve been so blessed to have with her this past year.
In my ideal world, I wouldn’t have to think about these
things, because I’d be staying home full time and not going back to work at
all. However, the reality is that I need to work. Not only for the financial
reasons, but simply because I have to work to maintain my standing as
a Registered Nurse. Nursing isn’t something that you can take an extended break
from and just walk back in 5 or 10 years later and pick up where you left off.
You have to keep current and up to date, because things change so quickly
and people expect a certain level of skill, ability, and competence from their
nurses - and rightly so. My nursing license isn’t something I’m ready to let go
of just yet – I’ve worked hard for it and it’s a good career with a lot of
options and flexibility – perfect for a young family in many ways. So, for
these next several years while we are building our family and raising young
children, I’ll most likely just work the minimum number of hours required to
maintain my registration and keep up my skills. I’m thankful for the
flexibility that my current job offers and that I don’t have to go back to full-time
work. I’ll still be able to be at home with Tessa the majority of the time,
which is a huge blessing that I do not take for granted.
So that brings me to now, just a week away from returning
to work and Tessa starting out in her new dayhome. It’s a pretty big deal (to
me, anyway) and while I’m sure it will all work out, I still have my
worries and anxieties over the whole thing. Part of the way I deal with that
is to do what I can to prepare both Tessa and myself for the transition. Here's what we've been doing to prepare:
1 – Weaning from daytime nursing
This has actually gone much better than I thought it would.
Tessa is down to nursing 3 or 4 times a day. She was starting to
show very little interest in her late afternoon/post-nap nursing session and
usually gets by until supper with a just a small snack after her nap. So we’ve
pretty much dropped that one altogether, although I’ll still offer to nurse
after her snack if she seems to need it. I’m ok with her still occasionally
nursing at this time because I’ll be able to nurse when I get home from work if
she needs it.
The bigger challenge was dropping her noon nursing session. We obviously won’t be able to continue that on the days she's at the dayhome, so we decided (for the sake of consistency) to try and get rid of that one altogether. About a month ago, I started trying to give her a bottle of pumped
milk at noon, along with her lunch. We hadn’t given her a bottle in months,
since we hadn’t really needed to. She initially refused the bottle so, of
course, naturally, I panicked! I was so worried that she was going to continue
to refuse the bottle and we’d have a huge battle on our hands and she wouldn’t
be ready, etc, etc. So we waited until a weekend when my husband would be home during the day, and when he gave her
the noon bottle she took it without a problem. Since then she’s taken the
bottle from me (and others) without batting an eye. So I think we’ve
successfully weaned her from nursing at noon, and she’s now used to getting a
bottle instead. Phew!
So for now, we’ll be sending a bottle of pumped milk with
her to the dayhome for her to have at noon. The rest of our nursing sessions
(morning, late afternoon, and bedtime) can stay as they are for now, since
we’ll be able to continue them once I’m back to work.
2 – A more flexible routine
We have a pretty solid routine down in our house. Tessa
generally wakes up, eats, plays, naps, and goes to bed at the same times each
day. We all like the stability and predictability this gives us. I know that
the routine in the dayhome will be fairly similar to what we have going at
home, but there may also be times when flexibility will be required. So with
that in mind, I’ve tried to be a little more flexible with our routine at home these past few weeks – obviously still sticking to it as closely as
possible, but not freaking out if she has a shorter nap (or misses one
altogether) or we do something a little earlier or later - in other words, I’m trying to relax a little!
Tessa has shown us over and over that she is adaptable and
can usually handle changes to her routine without a huge meltdown, so we have
to trust that she will be able to handle this next big change as well.
3 – Playdates at the dayhome
Tessa has already gone for a half day "trial" at the dayhome, and will be going for a full day this week before our actual first day. The half day went very well - Tessa was so busy playing that she hardly noticed when I left, and only had a few tears when I came back to pick her up. We're thankful that we've been able to do these "trial runs" - they've allowed Tessa to get used to the new environment and
routine, her caregiver, and the other kids in the dayhome, and have also given me the chance to see how I do handling the separation.
4 – Independent play
This has already been ongoing in our home, but I’m trying to
encourage a bit more independent play, since she may have to do more of this at the dayhome. We’re thankful that Tessa will be the only baby in the dayhome
(the other kids are age 2 and up), so we know she’ll get a lot of attention and
one on one time from the caregiver (she’s assured us of that). But it’s very
likely that there will be times when the caregiver is busy with another child
and Tessa will need to be able to entertain herself for a bit. She’s already
pretty good at this, so I’m not too worried.
On the other hand, it may end up being that she’ll get more
actual structured playtime and activities than she is used to at home, so that
could be another challenge in itself.
5 – Playpen naps
This is a fairly small thing, but I thought it might help if
Tessa takes an occasional nap in her playpen, since she’ll be napping in a
playpen at the dayhome. I’ve kept her pre-nap routine the same, but I thought it would help with getting her used to sleeping in
different places, and so far it hasn’t been a problem.
6 – Leaving Tessa in the church nursery
We started doing this a few months ago, not necessarily with
the intent of preparing her for daycare, but more for a break for us to be able
to sit through the service, uninterrupted. I volunteer in the nursery, so of
course she does well on the Sundays I’m in there, but we’ve left her there with
other workers too and for the most part, she’s handled it well - only a few meltdowns, usually more due to being tired, hungry, or teething than actual separation anxiety. This has also provided an opportunity for her to interact with
other babies and toddlers, which she’ll be doing much more of once she goes to
the dayhome.
I'm expecting the transition to go fairly well, since we have such an easygoing baby. I'm sure there will be a few bumps in the road and it will take a bit of adjusting for all of us, but hopefully the preparation we've done over the last several weeks will make things go much smoother.
Those who have been through this transition before, what have you done to prepare yourself and your baby? Anything else you would add to this list or any other tips you can offer?
