A friend recently posted a link on Facebook to an
article about a photo project that was done by a group of women in Victoria, BC. The title of the project is "No More Mommy Wars!" and it features photos of moms who, although they have made different parenting decisions, are standing together and supporting one another without judgment.
I love the message of this project - that instead of judging or criticizing each other for our different approaches to mothering and parenting, we should be standing together and supporting one another as moms. It's a hard enough job without also feeling like we need to be constantly living up to someone else's standards.
Please, please, PLEASE go read the article (especially if you're a mom)
and be inspired by this amazing group of women - and maybe get together
with some friends, take your own photos, and declare an end to the
silly "mommy wars".
A few days after reading about this project, I came across another great
post. This post challenges us to actually TELL our mom friends that they're doing a great job. How many times have you thought to yourself that someone you know is a great mom, but never actually TOLD her that (I'm guilty!!)? How much does it mean to you when someone lets you know you're doing a good job (in motherhood or elsewhere)? Don't we all thrive on those words of affirmation? When someone takes the time to tell me that I'm a good mom, it means
so much and really does go a long way.
I love this quote from the post I mentioned above:
I recently had an experience that confirmed for me the need for moms to support and encourage one another. We were on
vacation this summer, and on one night we chose to have dinner out rather than in our hotel. We were in a crowded restaurant and had each taken about 3 bites of our meals, when Tessa decided that she was done with sitting in that wooden box that passes for a high chair (can't say I blame her!). That, or she just had something to say, and chose to use her loudest, shrillest squeal to get her point across. She screeched over and over - she wasn't upset, just wanted to be heard. We took her out of the chair, took turns holding and bouncing her on our laps, tried a soother and every toy I had in my bag - no dice. She just wanted to squeal. Heads were starting to turn and we got a few evil eyes from other diners. We asked to have our food packed up and while my husband paid the bill, I got Tessa ready to go. Our table was right near the door, and a woman was waiting there with her kids. She took a few steps over to me, put her hand on my arm, gave me a sincere smile and said, "I love how vocal your little one is!" I could have cried right then and there. In that moment, I was feeling defeated by what I thought was my inability to "control" my baby and frustrated that my husband and I were unable to enjoy a nice dinner out. It meant so much to have a fellow mom stand with me and offer encouragement. She didn't
have to say anything - she could have just given me one of those sympathetic smiles or even ignored us altogether, but instead she made the effort to come over and say something, and by putting a positive spin on the situation, she was able to lift my mood and make me feel like I was doing something right.
With that experience in mind, I'm inspired to keep on the lookout for opportunities to encourage and support my fellow moms, even if they're strangers, and even if they do things differently than I do. And I challenge you to do the same. Tell someone today that she's a great mama.
