Tuesday, October 15, 2013

YOU are a good Mama!

     A friend recently posted a link on Facebook to an article about a photo project that was done by a group of women in Victoria, BC. The title of the project is "No More Mommy Wars!" and it features photos of moms who, although they have made different parenting decisions, are standing together and supporting one another without judgment.

     I love the message of this project - that instead of judging or criticizing each other for our different approaches to mothering and parenting, we should be standing together and supporting one another as moms. It's a hard enough job without also feeling like we need to be constantly living up to someone else's standards.

     Please, please, PLEASE go read the article (especially if you're a mom) and be inspired by this amazing group of women - and maybe get together with some friends, take your own photos, and declare an end to the silly "mommy wars".

     A few days after reading about this project, I came across another great post. This post challenges us to actually TELL our mom friends that they're doing a great job. How many times have you thought to yourself that someone you know is a great mom, but never actually TOLD her that (I'm guilty!!)? How much does it mean to you when someone lets you know you're doing a good job (in motherhood or elsewhere)? Don't we all thrive on those words of affirmation? When someone takes the time to tell me that I'm a good mom, it means so much and really does go a long way.

     I love this quote from the post I mentioned above:

via
     I recently had an experience that confirmed for me the need for moms to support and encourage one another. We were on vacation this summer, and on one night we chose to have dinner out rather than in our hotel. We were in a crowded restaurant and had each taken about 3 bites of our meals, when Tessa decided that she was done with sitting in that wooden box that passes for a high chair (can't say I blame her!). That, or she just had something to say, and chose to use her loudest, shrillest squeal to get her point across. She screeched over and over - she wasn't upset, just wanted to be heard. We took her out of the chair, took turns holding and bouncing her on our laps, tried a soother and every toy I had in my bag - no dice. She just wanted to squeal. Heads were starting to turn and we got a few evil eyes from other diners. We asked to have our food packed up and while my husband paid the bill, I got Tessa ready to go. Our table was right near the door, and a woman was waiting there with her kids. She took a few steps over to me, put her hand on my arm, gave me a sincere smile and said, "I love how vocal your little one is!" I could have cried right then and there. In that moment, I was feeling defeated by what I thought was my inability to "control" my baby and frustrated that my husband and I were unable to enjoy a nice dinner out. It meant so much to have a fellow mom stand with me and offer encouragement. She didn't have to say anything - she could have just given me one of those sympathetic smiles or even ignored us altogether, but instead she made the effort to come over and say something, and by putting a positive spin on the situation, she was able to lift my mood and make me feel like I was doing something right.

     With that experience in mind, I'm inspired to keep on the lookout for opportunities to encourage and support my fellow moms, even if they're strangers, and even if they do things differently than I do. And I challenge you to do the same. Tell someone today that she's a great mama.

18 comments:

  1. I love this so much! I was just talking to a friend the other day about how much I hated these "mommy wars" that we're going on! I'm definitely going to be more conscious of letting other moms know that they're awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's a great article! And a great post by you, too! A nice comment from another mother can send us soaring, while something negative can seriously knock us down! Thanks for spreading the love. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a nice thing for that woman to say to you! I try to say encouraging things to other moms that I see because I wish that someone would say those things to me when my daughter is having a total meltdown in Target. I am going to read that article right now because it sounds really interesting. Thanks! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. such an inspiring post! so important for all us mama's to spread the love and lift each other up. new follower on bloglovin via the blog hop :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. How sweet of her to go out of her way to say something kind to you in that moment! I don't have any children yet myself, but I already have a fear of the "mommy wars." Words of affirmation are so important, and all too often we let the opportunity to give that gift to someone just pass us right by. I know I'm guilty of it, and this was such a great reminder to be more aware of offering encouraging words to others in any kind of situation. Thanks for sharing! Stopping by from the bloggers digest hop. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love this post so much! I actually was tearing up a little when I looked through all the photos in that article! It's so nice that they made that and committed to dropping the mommy wars!

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOVE this, have tears in my eyes right now after reading it. I'm so inspired to encourage other mamas around me. I usually assume I'm the only one who ever feels inadequate or embarrassed or like I'm doing things wrong...it was nice to read your feelings about the whole dinner fiasco. Thank you so much for sharing this!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Nancy,
    I want to say thank you for visiting raising imperfections Sunday blog hop. I am a co-host this week, and am now following you.
    You would be very welcome at my blog, brand new, put up on friday, had to delete last one as it stopped working, so only one follower so far. My blog is http://www.wabyerley.blogspot.com.
    I hope that you have a wonderful day and week ahead.
    Love and best wishes.
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is so precious, I am sitting her with tears in my eye's, and I know that you must be a really fantastic Mum.
    Lots of love and best wishes.
    Anne

    ReplyDelete
  10. Great post and great links. We can be so judgmental as moms, both to other moms and ourselves! It can be viscous. I'm going to start telling more of my mom friends that they are good mamas. It's not that I don't think it, it's just that I don't often say it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm the same way - it's way easier to just think it and not bother saying it, but having been on the receiving end, I know how much of a difference it can make to have someone tell you you're doing a great job! Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  11. This is so true! Love is the most important part of mothering. Hope you have a great day!
    Heidi’s Wanderings

    ReplyDelete
  12. Love love love this! We have been struggling so much with our youngest who thinks that using his ear drum shattering shriek over and over again is so much fun. I always feel like I'm being judged by other people thinking that I can't control my own child. I know he's just expressing himself (loudly). However, I will be so ready for this phase to be over!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahh, I hear ya! Once they figure out how to use their voice they don't want to stop - we have a shrieker too and as much as I want her to express herself, some days it gets to be a little much!! Hopefully our little ones find some new (less ear-shattering) sounds to explore soon! :)

      Delete
  13. Being supportive is not a little thing, and when it's offered it's almost always welcomed. :)

    I'm visiting today from Raising Imperfection!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...